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Subject: How do I get women to dance?
From: Dave G
Date: Friday 6th September 2002, 3:23 pm

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Men how do you decide which women to ask to dance so you don't get turned down?
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It's all in your attitude. You're selling yourself, so think of yourself as a product. Good presentation is always important. Make sure you look good (and smell good) and present the right image by standing well (no slouching or negative body language), making and keeping eye contact and smiling.

Staying with the "selling yourself" idea, take a leaf out of the standard salesman's manual and don't ask questions which the customer can say no to.

If you say "do you want to dance?", it's easy for her to say "no".

If you say "let's dance", you're making it more difficult for her to say "no", but there's still an implied question in there.

If you say "this is a great track, come on", take her hand and start towards the dance floor, it's much more difficult for her to say "no", because there's no opportunity.

Salesmen are also trained to handle negative answers. If they are trying to sell insurance and the customer says "I'm already insured" or "maybe in a few months" then the sale has gone. So they will say things like "when does your current insurance expire" or "a few months? Do you mean November?" and use that to say something like "I'll ring you back about this in November".

In the same way, if a woman says to you "I'm tired, what about later?", you can say "Okay, catch your breath, we'll dance later" (notice again the "no question" rule, you don't say "Okay, catch your breath, do you want to dance later?"). Don't just walk away without saying anything or with a shrug. Then make sure you go back to her a bit later and try again.

Also make sure you've got the right attitude in your self. Don't seem desperate for a dance. Think to yourself that it's no big deal whether you dance with her or not. After all, there are loads of women in the club and not so many men. If she doesn't dance with you, it's her loss and not yours. Put the "no" behind you immediately and go off and ask someone else.

dG

   
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